On Nov 2nd, remember to send your love letter to America. Just walk into your local polling place, pick up one of those ballot thingies, and express your deepest feelings. When you’re done, just drop your message in the little slot and it will be sent to America right away—for free!
Oh, and that popping sound you hear is heads exploding. It’s the sound of Tea Partiers trying to understand that they aren’t the only ones who love their country. Bip! Bop! Pif! Pap!